My review of the new season of Flipping Out will appear in the print edition Friday, but Bravo has been debuting its new seasons and series all week … too many to do at one time. As the newest Real Housewives incarnation — set in Washington — debuts officially this Thursday, I figured I’d preview it here.

Truth be told, I am not a regular watcher of the Real Housewives franchise (which, last year, led Lisa Lampanelli to question my gayness), so it’s difficult to compare for the faithful. As a practical matter, I don’t see what makes the pampered bitches on all these shows “real” at all. They deal with tragedies such as which 4-star hotel to stay in and how to hire a nanny for when the kids are home from boarding school. How about women looking for work at McDonald’s and bailing junior out of juvie? That’s the show I wanna see. But I digress.

The Real Housewives of D.C. is probably no better nor worse than the others, although it has the added pressure of being about my hometown area. So when Mary, in the opening scene, declares herself a “native of Washington” then admits to living in suburban Virginia, you know they have at least captured the pretentiousness of those who think of themselves as elites. That’s pretty delish.

But then, you have to endure them doing the same Lifestyles of the Bitch and Shameless shtick over and over again. Polo matches. Fashion shoots. Birthday parties. More bleached hair than a Lauderdale salon on top of waifishly thin but ageing and dress-inappropriate social x-rays. The entirety of the show, and all these shows, is how artificial they seem. You don’t believe a word of it, and even the catfights feel scripted. (A biometric lock on a closet? Who really paid for that?)

My tolerance for watching on TV people who I wouldn’t care to talk to in real life must be too low. I don’t get why people are addicted to these shows. If you do, maybe you can explain them to me. Yawn.

Premieres on Bravo Aug. 5 at 8 p.m.