It’s a head-to-head competition of epic proportions … well, only if you’re idea of “epic” is cat-fighting, insufferable jerks. In a weird confluence of gay-versus-gay counter-programming, starting at 11 a.m. today, The A-List: New York on Logo and Most Eligible Dallas on Bravo both are running mini-marathons of their shows. That means local queer DVRs will be overly taxed, having to decide whether to watch a lot of gays behave like navel-gazing superstars when in fact they are negligible celebs in much smaller cities, or turning the satellite toward the hometown show, with a few gays who wander around Big D, acting like selfish assholes.

It’s a conundrum worthy of … well, not really worthy of anything.

Next week, The A-List: Dallas premieres (we’ll have a preview), but I doubt that show will rehabilitate Dallas. Considering that Big Rich Texas just ended Sunday night and The Real Housewives of Dallas is coming, our city looks to be the center of reality sniping. (Also in development: Storage Wars: Dallas, which probably won’t be too gay but is unlikely to present the city in a great light, if the word “wars” is in the title.)

Add to these TNT’s reboot of the soap Dallas and ABC’s upcoming spoof Good Christian Belles with Kristin Chenoweth, and even the fictionalized looks at our fair ‘burg seem to target the negative. (Perhaps the most offensive thing I’ve seen on Most Negligible is the woman who announced she was taking shooting lessons at a gun range, because “90 percent of all women in Dallas pack heat.” I’ve lived here more than 20 years, and I don’t even know a man who has a carry permit, not to say 90 percent of all women. But reality has so little to do with reality TV. And Dallas is its latest victim. Does anyone feel this is good for us? Anyone? Bueller?