big_gun_small_dick_flaskStarting Jan. 1 the new open carry law goes into effect. Prove how masculine you are by carrying a gun. Prove what a small dick you have by carrying a big, big gun.

Businesses have the right to opt out, but must post a sign telling customers their big guns aren’t welcome.

Tom Thumb, Whole Foods, HEB — which owns Central Market — and Sprouts have opted out. No guns in their markets.

Kroger said it follows state laws. By that it means it won’t follow Texas law that allows a business to opt out. It will allow straight men with small dicks to carry their big guns into their stores.

Aldi did not answer, but allows concealed guns in their stores. Fiesta hasn’t announced its policy yet.

Going out for an evening of entertainment? AMC and Cinemark theaters both will ban guns.

Go to CVS with your gun. Walgreens without.

Gun-free restaurant chains include Panera Bread, Chili’s, Hooters, Jack in the Box, TGI Fridays, Buffalo Wild Wings, California Pizza Kitchen and Waffle House.

Nasher Sculpture Garden bans guns but Nasher-owned NorthPark didn’t respond when the Dallas Morning News inquired about its policy.

This list is certainly not complete and most of the stores listed above come from a “Second Amendment rights” website, and is certainly subject to change. Check for a sign on the front door of the business to see if guns are banned from the property. If there’s no sign, open carry is welcome at that business.