Our final installment of of Brandon James Singleton’s Tex’n the City.


6. DRAMA FREE/7. RESPECT. These two came about so easily and without me even realizing it. First, the people in my life don’t bring unneeded drama to me. And I now can settle with straying away from getting involved.

Does that mean we don’t share our worries and conflicts with one another? No. I’m still there for all of my friends. It’s just now, I know what I can take on, and what I can’t. And because they love me, I’m not even asked to take on more than I should. As for myself, one of my rules has become, “Don’t put anything out into the universe that you can’t handle coming back at you.”

Petty gossiping. Backstabbing. Lying. Manipulation. All traits no one wants in a friend. So, when you do those things yourself, you have to be prepared for someone around you to do it.

Easy solution: Be legit. All the time. To the people around you, and yourself.

8. SECURITY. I don’t want to wake up in 10 or 20 years, and still be in the same financial situation as I was in my twenties. Or now, thirties.

I get amazing benefits with my new position, including life insurance. And now, I have this need to want to consider the future every time I make a financial decision.

I hope it sticks. Fashion Week isn’t until September. The temptation to shop is slim for a bit. at least ‘til spring. I heard she’s gonna make a brief cameo at the end of March.

9. BFF. What can I say that I haven’t already said about Brandon James Martin. I hate saying it this way, because I always feel like I’m quoting a scene from Babysitter’s Club, but he really will be my best friend for life. To quote a Toni Braxton song, “I love me some him!”

Since we’re both aware we’re a lot to handle, we’ve even decided if we’re still single in another five years, rather than up cat men, a la a gay Grey Gardens, we’re heading to Boston, putting rings on it and calling it a lifetime.

Eight kids. The athletes, our oldest girl Joshua James, and our first born son, Ashley James. The entertainers, Isabella James and Elijah James. (They’ll also be the “questionable/alternative lifestyle” kids.) The politicians, Jocelyn James and Nathaniel James. (They’ll be Brandon’s favorites. I’ll be stage dad to the second two around this time.) And the pretty ones, who could either becomes models or common criminals, Ryan Nicole James and Donovan Monroe James.

Hey, I’m 30. Gotta have a detailed plan. I honestly, I don’t care if my kids are rich, as long as they’re happy …

… and rich!

10. THIRTYSOMETHING. My twenties were fun. I probably drank enough to carry me through to 40. Some fun time boy time; some not-so-fun boy time, but luckily a few more shots of Jack Daniel’s will ultimately help me forget those times completely. I’ve been to 48 out of the 50 states. Performed in some of the best venues ever. A few scary experiences as well as a few memories to last a lifetime.

I wish there was a way to completely describe what I feel I’m taking from the decade known as your twenties. I think I’m more settled in what I expect out of myself as a person. I think morals and values were tested out the water. And I failed a few times. Okay, many times. But I had to stray away to realize to appreciate what my religious beliefs have taught me to cherish.

I can’t say there aren’t a few wild moments ahead in the race, but I can say my initial approach will be much different.

I was naive and handed my heart out in different friendships and relationships so easily, only to have it tossed and or broken. And sometimes, it was my fault. And sometimes it wasn’t. And that left me a bit guarded and with walls up.

At this point in my life, I don’t feel like I have to keep my walls up. I’m gonna have my heart broken again. I’m gonna go through trials and tribulations with friends. I’m gonna have loss. I’m gonna have bad days. But, just like at point in my twenties when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I pulled through in the end. I don’t have to go through another decade worrying about surviving. Cause to quote a disco queen, “I Will Survive.”

It gets better. For the better!

I’m happy to finally be at this point in life. Besides the minor panic attack I woke up with the morning of my 30th birthday, a confidence has taken over. It’s no longer just that little kid dressing up in dad’s shoes and jacket and walking around pretending to be grown. I’m actually an adult. And in a world where little defenseless kids have to worry about hiding in cabinets and closets to stay alive, there’s so many other places to send that negative energy that comes my way.

I’m no expert. God willing, I still have a lifetime of, well, life to experience. And I just feel empowered to take it on and live it to the fullest.

Fortunately, I have a little experience under my belt, and a lot of passion to help me push through this next phase.

Pack up The Carrie Diaries —  this beeyatch is full-fledged Sex and the City. You don’t have to be having sex on a regular basis to be Sex and the City, right? Dammit.

I wonder what hot Zumba instructor Matt  has been up too? Reckon I should call him up. Whoa. Did I just say “reckon?” Guess you can take the boy out of the country, but he’ll still just be a Tex’n the city.

Peace out, xoxoxo

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