In the hard copy of the Dallas Voice out today, I talked with Joey Green, who will appear at this weekend’s Home & Garden Market Show. He’s famous for giving new life and multiple uses to household products. Stuff like polishing silverware with toothpaste, teabagging your wooden floors, you know. I asked him about items that may be found in most closets of LGBT peeps. You know how creative we can be with Crisco, Saran Wrap and of course, condoms. No? Just me?

I got an e-mail late Thursday in which Green followed up with a couple more items that probably make our shopping lists at times. So just remember when you dole out the big bucks for quality lube, that you’re also saving because it doubles in another way. His additional suggestions are after the jump.

You could use K-Y Jelly as hair gel to mousse your hair.

As for Dental Dams, you could use them to store candles by rolling up the candle in the dental dam (which is just a sheet of latex), to prevent the candles from getting scuffed. You could also save stamps between two Dental Dams to prevent the stamps from sticking together. You could do the same thing with a sheet of Cut-Rite Wax Paper, which would be a lot less costly.

By the way, for Trojans, to protect an injured dog or cat paw from getting wet in the rain, you can unroll a Trojan Non-Lubricated Condom on the dog or cat’s foot.

Which gives a whole new meaning to rubber boots.

Want tickets? I just found a pair sitting on my desk. If you’re able to stop by our offices before 5 p.m. Friday, just e-mail me directly with “Mister Clean” in the subject line. I might even throw in his newest book, Joey Green’s Cleaning Magic, because it really kind of is. Congrats to James Osler for getting the tickets and the book.