How Bank Of America’s Goons Were Gonna Force Gleen Greenwald to Abandon Support Of Wikileaks

As part of their defensive strategy for client Bank of America, which is queasy over the possibility of Wikileaks having gigabytes of confidential information, financial security/intelligence firms HBGary Federal and Palantir Technologies put together a plan — since exposed by the hackers at Anonymous — to pressure Salon's Glenn Greenwald into sacrificing his support of Wikileaks to save his career. As if those two things could be separated! But there's a PowerPoint presentation and everything, espousing the sort of stuff you only dream shadowy security firms would ever do.

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—  David Taffet

Why Did Rep. Louie Gohmert Make It So Easy To Name Him To America’s Most Bigoted Lawmakers List?

Letting gays to serve openly in the military will bring America "toward the end of [its] existence as a great nation," Rep. Louie Gohmert claimed on the House floor yesterday. He might have a point: Letting gays serve openly in Congress has, evidently, opened the doors to guys like Gohmert also holding office and being constitutionally permitted to speak on the House floor. Barney Frank's been serving since 1981; Gohmert got there in 2003. INEVITABLE COURSE OF EVENTS, PEOPLE.


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Steven Retchless Is America’s Pole Fitness Champion

This is pole fitness, not pole dancing, people. Because one implies what your brother's Vegas bachelor party looks like, and the other is an athletic event requiring ridiculous strength in what my trainer keeps telling me is my "core." Steven "Princeton" Retchless (which is shortened to "Stretchless"; awesome) holds the title of the first-ever Male American Pole Fitness Champion, beating out the competition in October. Yes, this is a real thing. Let's watch him rehearse! Perform! And — in that third video, my favorite — pull it all off in some monster heels. Can we please petition to make this an official Olympic sport?

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A-List Producers Soon To Be Trolling For B-List Gays Around Americas

LOGO's The A-List: New York is about to bear some brothers: Production company True Entertainment is hosting casting calls in Los Angeles and Dallas in hopes of putting together some spin-off seasons, proving aspirations for fame, wealth, and snide comments aren't only limited to heterosexual housewives. Probably a good decision to lay off on The A-List: Atlanta thus far: I'm pretty sure Dwight Eubanks is still trying to run that town.


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Britain’s Gay Soldiers Speak Up When America’s Cannot

While American gay soldiers cannot upload an It Gets Better video to YouTube without putting their job at risk, Britain's Lance Corporal James Wharton doesn't have that problem. Here he appears in a campaign from advocacy group Stonewall, explaining why

RELATED:
A Gay Soldier Walks On to the Cover of a Military Magazine
What State Secrets Did The British Leak To American Intelligence Officials About Gay Soldiers?


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A-List: New York 3rd Episode Live Blog: America’s Sweetwhores!

TONIGHT: E-list party promoter and NYC-based DJ Robert Maril (aka DJ Executive Realness) joins Queerty contributor Daniel Villarreal in taking this reality show down to new lows.

Every Monday night we get together for the orgy of feigned interest that is The A-List: New York. Having already explored the show's racial ineptitude (blacks = "the help") and political tone-deafness (ie. Yes Ann Coulter, we all are affluent, white, closet Republicans), we move onto the 3rd episode wondering why grown men would humiliate themselves on camera under the pretense of parlaying this gay witch abortion of a reality show into a career. Oh, that's right: the money (Buttvomits onto rainbow American flag).

But first a quick recap: You have missed nothing. Nothing at all.

OK, just kidding (but barely): Even though insatiable bottom Reichen just moved in with his subtitled piece of man-candy Rodiney, unrefined she-slut Austin still wants to pop it in Reichen's pooper and Derek the toxic tanorexic is all like "Nuh-uh, girl." Meanwhile, TJ, Ryan and Mike pretend to have lives. FIN.

BTW, as a punishment for making it to all the way to episode 3 of this show, here's a NSWF picture of Austin's butt. Now you can join the countless whordes who have seen it, but be careful — stare too long and you might catch optical chlamydia.

 

 

9:03 PM CST - The entire show revolves around whether or not Austin will fuck Reichen. The show starts with Austin taking his first limo ride to glamorous JFK airport. In which he kisses his on again off again "boyfriend of two years" Jake. TWO YEARS?!!!

Yeah, "boyfriend"… uh-huh. He probably picked him up in the airport bathroom. Jake is from Britain and like Rodiney LOGO has decided to subtitle him, but unlike Rodiney, Jake actually needs them. He and Ryan say "I love you" to each other during the car ride back, but what they probably meant was "I love you for traveling 8 hours just to have sex with me."

9:07 PM CST - At brunch (every show must have at least eight brunch scenes), Derek says that when he was Derek's age (17 years ago) he said a bunch of stupid things. Sadly he hasn't stopped. Ryan agrees to take Austin on as a pet project to teach him manners, kinda like Professor Higgins agreeing to take on Typhoid Mary. Ryan agree to do some "psychoanalyzation" and get back to them.

9:10 PM CST - Derek meets a matchmaker in New York City and NEWS FLASH Derek has not been in love in OVER A YEAR! That's hard to believe seeing as Derek considers himself so "young, hot, and successful." Derek's not a gold digger, but his lover must be professional from the Hamptons, and have Carrie Bradshaw's 5th Ave. apartment, complete with shoe room.

9:13 PM CST - A commercial shows a kid in a blasted elementary school speaking in a creepy "I just saw my parents get shot" voice. "Maybe the world gets broken so we can fix it. People think we don't have frontiers anymore. They don't realize that frontiers are all around us." Great sentiments, we think… until we realize it's a fucking jeans commercial.

9:15 PM CST - These commercials teach us gay values: charge cards, clothes, cellphones, and luxury cars, and PF Chang's. Fuck acceptance… WE WANT STUFF!

9:16 PM CST - Austin arrives at Ryan's house wearing a designer sunglasses and black leggings, to, you know, indicate that he's been "lifting." Ryan begins teaching Austin how to speak like a proper lady. But you can tell by the glimmer in Austin's eyes that he's only had gummy bears to eat for the last 3 days.

9:18 PM CST - Does everyone speak with a compulsive lisp on this goddamn show? The producers are like, "MORE LISP, BOIIIIS!" During their meeting Austin says, "Yes, I am with someone I have been with for a while. We have a great relationship." What he means is "we don't talk, we only fuck."

9:20 PM CST – Cut to more romantic times on a boat (see episode 1). Meanwhile, we maniacally search the screen for the queens we recognize in Fire Island. Austin and Jake go to buy a bathing suit and initially Ryan chooses a horrid purple brief that's so short that the censors have to blur out his pubes. Then they go to swim in a pool with a large blow up swan.

9:21 PM CST - They start drinking champagne in a hot tub which the surgeon General totally advises against (especially for gay people). It would be such a damn shame if Austin got woozy and slipped under and DROWNED. Totes sad.

9:22 PM CST - T.J. makes his first appearance this episode, wearing the required purple v-neck. He comes over with Austin to Reichen's shoebox apartment to make fun of EVER SINGLE THING HE OWNS. How DARE gay people not have a house from architectural digest. Apparently Reichen decorates like a straight man because he has a disgusting rug and home furnishing straight out of the Blair Witch Project. and Ryan accurately compares Reichen's apartment to his relationship like we did last week: "It doesn't make any damn sense."

9:28 PM CST - Yet again Austin puts on designer clothes to go "lift" before talking to Reichen. In the background of the street shot, they blur out a woman's face probably because she probably specifically requested not to be in this dreck. She was like, "WHAT show now? NO I do not consent."

9:30 PM CST - Mike Ruiz shows up for the first time in this episode for a total of five seconds when Rodiney goes in to apply to be a model. Rodiney says that he's 5'11", but he's more like 5'9"… or even 4'7". Are we sniffing glue or are they saying that Rodiney is not hot enough to be a model? Even after he gives half of gay America a boner by standing around in his ultra tight low-cut underwear.

9:33 PM CST - At the "lift date", Reichen thinks it's weird that Austin suddenly announces that he's been in a relationship with the random piece of London ass for the last year and a half. YEAR AND A HALF, Austin? What happened to "two years?" Austin explains that the only reason he told everyone about Reichen's cock is because trash-talking peoples' junk is always "good fun."

9:36 PM CST – Meanwhile, Derek shows up for a meeting with his match from the Millionaire matchmaker he hired earlier in the show. Derek says, " I hope I don't get a dud, a pedophile, or a creep." We hope he gets all three. It turns out that his date is his doppelganger, except with taller hair. He's like, "Perfect, because I am SO SICK of wiping off that mirror."

But… SURPRISE. He already went out with his twin about a decade and a half ago (in his 30s) and even though the guy's a handsome millionaire… Derek doesn't want to settle… for a handsome millionaire.

9:37 PM CST - Commercial inexplicably involving straight octagenarian travel enthusiasts.

9:39 PM CST - Finally Mike returns for a longer scene with Rodiney. Mike is wearing a shirt that reads "love muscle." Let's process this. Between the hair changes and vanity glasses he's basically in disguise in every shot. Rodiney admits how "hard" his relationship with Reichen is. If this was a porn, Mike and Rodiney would have fucked each other in this scene.

9:40 PM CST - In the eighth scene of brunch Jake sits back and he learns SHOCKER that Austin is a slut! Based on his accent, Austin's boyfriend Jake might either be Welsh, Scottish, northern English…let's draw straws. Jake surprises them by telling them that Austin and he are engaged. What's that, you say? But gays can't get married in New York yet? Oh good, then it's a FAKE engagement.

9:41 PM CST - Ryan cannot blink because of his numerous Botox injections. TJ says it's OK for Austin to dish about how much he hates Derek because "girls say bad things about other girls. that's what we do." And that, America, is what is wrong… that and the fact that we have penises and are not women.

9:44 PM CST - …and the four gays at brunch continue to completely ignore the food in front of them.

9:47 PM CST – Dear LOGO: gays would only go see the new Saw 3-D movie if it had Samantha from Sex and the City in it.

9:48 PM CST – Thankfully TJ covers his abominable hair during his talk with Derek. Derek laments not having been in love or having had sex for THE LAST EIGHT MONTHS!!! Of course, he's so busy tanning and waxing that he can't possibly keep up with a boyfriend. Apparently TJ is Ryan's front desk girl, right? By that measure that would would make us A-List also.

Reichen goes to a slutty party called Carnival and immediately gets distracted by a butter face with a machete for a schlong proving what we already knew about him, he's an insatiable buttslut with a chunnel the size of the Holland Tunnel.

9:52 PM CST - Austin demotes his fiancee Jake to the title of "partner." The relationship has gotten shorter while its status has continually amped up. Then Reichen drunkenly asks Austin if he will ever fool around with anybody once he and Jake are married — "so, uh, will yo uever, uh, fool around with…anyone else?" — because y'know… Reichen would like to be the meat in their man sandwich if it could work out. Reichen then slurs out relationship advice while dripping his old fashioned onto his pant leg. Meanwhile Rodiney standing merely three feet away pretends not to know Reichen.

9:56 PM CST - They blur out Amanda Lepore's breasts because LOGO HATES TRANNIES!!! Where is GLAAD on this one? Amanda Lepore beats michael musto as the most believable thing in the episode. Derek hates being there, so instaed of leaving he decides to spend more money, get shitfaced, and kiss a stranger in front of a midway game on national television.

9:58 PM CST - In a teary bedroom scene, both Rodiney and Reichen both wake up WITH AMAZING HAIR! Tthey don't understand why their relationship has come to such a bad state. Have they NOT been watching the show? We wish we could look this great when breaking up with someone.

Reichen keeps asking for Rodiney for permission to talk while lying shirtless with him in bed proving YET AGAIN that he's Rodiney's fussy little cockslave. Rodiney cannot believe that their relationship is getting this bad… we cannot believe they're doing this in front of cameras. BTW, what the eff ever happened to Reichen's jewelry line? All he has going on now is working out, trying to bone Austin, fighting with Rodiney, and that stupid play we haven't heard about since the first episode.


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—  John Wright

Pew Poll Shows America’s Slow, But Sure Evolution On Gay Marriage Acceptance


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 Yesterday I noted how Exodus International, an "ex-gay" group, has dropped out of the homophobic "Day of Truth."

Though the news seems small, Exodus' departure signals, I said, the erosion of social conservatism's power in America. If you want more proof of the nation's gay evolution, check out this news from Pew Research:

Polls this year have found that more Americans favor allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally than did so just last year.

In two polls conducted over the past few months, based on interviews with more than 6,000 adults, 42% favor same-sex marriage while 48% are opposed.

In polls conducted in 2009, 37% favored allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally and 54% were opposed. For the first time in 15 years of Pew Research Center polling, fewer than half oppose same-sex marriage.

While it can be distressing to live in a nation that restricts rights based on people's sex lives, this latest report, coupled with Exodus' exodus, suggests that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. An inclusive America is on the horizon, inevitable, and our virtuous patience will be paid in spades. Or, rather, in marriage.

Just a little longer, reader!


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—  John Wright

30% of America’s Gays Are Married (Or Married-Ish). Not That Their States Recognize It

How excited WERE YOU when you found out that, for the first time, those door-knockers counting everyone up for the U.S. Census were going to include data on same-sex couples? Well, then you found out it wasn't really a perfect system, and the gays wouldn't exactly be totally on the radar. And now the hard(ish) data: One in seven of gay couples won't be identified as such. But that doesn't mean we don't know how many of you are living under the same roof. Big brother knows all!

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—  John Wright

Kayla, America’s Next Top Lesbian Model

I haven't watched America's Next Top Model in several years, but here comes Kayla, a lesbian Hooters waitress, and what other reason do we need to tune in? "Being the openly gay girl in the house, I was afraid about how the others would receive me," she tells Us. Sorry ladies, she's taken.

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—  John Wright