BREAKING: Bert, Ernie NOT gay

Despite the online petitions and pressure from LGBT groups, Bert and Ernie will not be getting married.

Sesame Workshop issued a statement about its two puppets today saying they’re just friends:

“Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

The couple, I mean puppets, live in New York where same-sex marriage is now legal. But it isn’t clear whether same-sex puppet marriage would also be allowed under the law.

On the Facebook page with Sesame Workshop’s statement, most commenters are against the idea of the Muppets marrying. The main reason given is, they don’t want to teach this to their children. Some called those in favor “douchebags” and asked “why does everything have to do with gay rights?” and compared homosexuality to abortion, polygamy — including polygamous forced rape of a young girl — the death penalty, murder.

Wow. They’re Muppets. Breathe.

—  David Taffet

Rangers ‘It Gets Better’ petition gains steam

A while back we mentioned that online petitions had been launched at calling for both the Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys to record “It Gets Better” videos.

At the time, the Rangers petition had only 124 signatures, but thanks in part to Equality Texas, which shared the link on Facebook earlier today, it’s now up to more than 1,700. (For those who are keeping track, that’s about 1,000 fewer than a recently-gone-viral petition at calling for Sesame Street‘s Bert and Ernie to wed. )

The Cowboys petition isn’t faring so well, languishing at only 57 signatures. Still, that’s better than the three people who’ve signed a petition — launched since our previous report — calling for the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks to record an “It Gets Better” video. (It would help if the folks starting these petitions would at least include the team logo.) We were unable to find any petition related to the Dallas Stars.

Anyhow, we’ve put a message in to John Blake, the Rangers’ executive vice president of communications, to find out whether the Rangers are aware of the petition or plan to record an “It Gets Better” video.

Meanwhile, the St. Petersburg Times reports that the Tampa Bay Rays will become the ninth Major League Baseball team to film an “It Gets Better” video later this month. (And, by the way, those teams include the one with the very best record in the league, my Philadelphia Phillies.)

—  John Wright