Crazy Mormon woman thinks way too much about gay marriage

FROZEN

The first time I saw a friend link to a page on Facebook, I figured he had been Punk’d. The blog post, written by a Mormon grandmother, railed on against the movie Frozen as clearly a pro-gay-marriage message hidden within a fairy tale. This could not be real, after all — she’s obviously bat-shit crazy, and that’s the essence of being Punk’d: It gets you to believe something that’s a total goof. It’s satire.

But much as I tried to find the “gotcha” in the blog, I couldn’t. There was only one conclusion: This lady is serious.

What makes that so unusual is that she analyzes Frozen as if she’s an academic dissecting a film for a thesis. She reads into every moment of the film, looking for the secret pro-gay messages embedded to destroy the fabric of society. And she’s absolutely, insanely wrong.

Don’t misunderstand: I spend a great deal of my waking hours analyzing films and parsing the imagery. And certainly a lot of animated films have messages of tolerance and acceptance: The Hunchback of Notre Dame teaches not to judge based on appearances; The Little Mermaid speaks to female empowerment; Wall-E embraces connecting to our humanity, even if we are machines; in The Croods, Darwinian evolution is treated as a fact, and progress deemed necessary for survival. She’s not wrong looking for them. She’s just gone way overboard trying to prove it.

The blog itself is tedious and poorly written; she doesn’t even get to her points until well into it. But if you scroll down past the image of the Frozen billboard, she eventually gets into particulars. Among her more elaborate hidden messages include Elsa becoming a “queen,” and that the death of her parents represents killing off her oppressors so she can “come out of the closet.” Now, if you’ve seen the film, you know that the parents’ death is portrayed as tragic, not victorious.

The fact is, she does make a point. Elsa is forced into a role, and she struggles to follow her own path. That is true of gays as well. And girls in male-dominated societies. And poor people. And creative (non-gay) people. And anyone who wants to march to his own drummer. It’s also the story of The Jazz Singer.)

What’s fascinating to me is how the blogger is so angered and disturbed by this movie as an obvious metaphor against heteronormative ideals and patently trying to indoctrinate kids to be gay-friendly. And worst of all, she misstates almost everything about gay people — that we feel “shame” being attracted to the same sex (not me!), that we consider ourselves victims (I’m only a victim when you deny me rights), that we are “immoral” (what’s immoral his how bad her prose is).

You can’t read it all in one sitting — or rather, you shouldn’t (click here). But it’s a remarkable insight, in my mind, to the guilt-ridden mind of a bigot-in-denial, a person so concerned that her moral compass may be off that she lashes out at everything that makes her question her stance, much the way Macbeth continued to see the ghosts of those he killed. The fault, dear lady, lies not in our movies, but in yourself.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

LISTEN: Male singer covers ‘Let It Go’

Screen shot 2014-02-07 at 9.54.49 AMCaleb Hyles, a 22-year-old thrash metal singer and student at Auburn University, also has a YouTube channel devoted to his cover songs, including some Disney ballads. In this one, he tackles the frontrunner for the best song Oscar, “Let It Go” from the movie Frozen. As a charter member of Theater Queens United, I am required by bylaws to love Idina Menzel, who sang the song in the film. But even I think she gets blown out of the water here. Listen (and watch), and be wowed.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

WATCH: Brandon Hilton’s “Frozen”

Dallas-based singer Brandon Hilton celebrated the holiday with the release of his new video “Frozen.” Financed out of his own pocket, Hilton prominently features the Large Marge bridge in the background and some interesting product placement.

Hilton’s getting more confident in his singing and the song has some assertive energy. And he is working those wedges!

Watch the video for “Frozen” after the jump.

—  Rich Lopez

David Blaine tonight at the Winspear

He’s a magic man

We’ve seen David Blaine be buried alive, frozen and more, but what’s behind the man of magic? Blaine talks about what inspires his death-defying feats and hopefully he’ll throw in some tricks, too.

DEETS: Winspear Opera House, 2403 Flora St. 8 p.m. $20. ATTPAC.org.

—  Rich Lopez

‘The Frozen Twin’ tonight at Stone Cottage Theatre

Major family drama

As part of MBS Productions’ 7 Plays in 7 Days festival, tonight they premiere Carol M. Rice’s  The Frozen Twin. How can a woman give birth to her own sister? Much less a twin? Debbie has an idea but her boyfriend isn’t quite on board. The play is directed by Jon Christie.

DEETS: Stone Cottage Theatre, 15650 Addison Road, Addison. 8 p.m. $14. MBSProductions.net.

 

—  Rich Lopez

Cazwell Invites You To Stop By His Frozen Yogurt Truck

We know that pop artists basically write their tracks with the intention of selling them to corporations for use in their ads (or sometimes corporations themselves commission the songs ahead of time), but I never thought Cazwell's "Ice Cream Truck" — a "song for retards," as he put it, that's basically an excuse for hotties with bubble butts to gyrate for the camera – would go on to see additional success. But the NYC-based gay rapper agreed to swap out "ice cream" for "frozen yogurt" for the British treats company Snog in a new endorsement deal. Apparently Snog's fro-yo is "super healthy," but anything is gonna be good for your body when it entices you you to get down like so:

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