Tex’n the City: Item No. 5 — Find a boyfriend (potential future husband)

Brandon James Singleton faces a sad conclusion: Dating isn’t as easy as it was when you were pretending to be straight… and he may not check off all the items on his checklist after all. 

You know what really sucks? When people hop into short-lived relationships. Apparently, since they both have siblings, and both love Britney’s third album the most, and neither likes going out to bars or clubs (though that doesn’t include Wednesdays through Tuesdays) and both previously had bad breakups and think most gay guys are trashy (not them, though) … They instantly knew when they saw each other’s upper torsos on that handy business networking site for gays only, they were star-crossed lovers destined to spend their lives together.

You can tell ’em they’re making a mistake (again), but they swear up and down that “this one is different.” But they still find themselves single two or three weeks later because the person they thought they were “falling in love with” has somehow changed and lied to them about something and was just as trashy as the last bf.

Imagine that. “DtxFUNboiPartyAllNight8in,” the serious mature guy you’ve been talking to — your soulmate of two weeks — lied to you about something! I can’t believe it! I won’t believe it. Never!

Then you have to go out and get them drunk, allow them to be silly and stupid as they attempt to numb the pain … only to repeat the entire  process over the following week with their new soulmate, “DoggyWannaBone8in.”

But you know what else really sucks? Being single. Especially when you finally feel like you’re mentally and emotionally more ready than you’ve ever been to handle a true mature relationship.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Online hookup terminology decoded

I saw this on Twitter, and I think it will prove very helpful, especially for young guys just entering the gay scene and even older men who feel more comfortable with hanky codes than what’s meant in app-dating profiles. Here is some gay terminology, explained:

Bottom = bottom

Versatile bottom  = bottom

Versatile = bottom

Versatile top = bottom

Top = will top if necessary, but prefer to bottom

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Apparently, Olympians value a hookup almost as much as a medal

There are precious few out gay athletes, at least in pro sports, but if this news item is to be believed, there are more than a few in the amateur sports. In a story reported on a U.K. website, as soon as the hoards of Olympians began arriving in London, they quickly crashed a website.

And that website was Grindr.

The story gingerly refers to Grindr as a “gay dating” app, though we all know it is really about hookups. And the East London neighborhood where most of the athletes are staying saw such a spike in log-ons, the site was unavailable in London for an entire day. According to the story, they got it up and running as quickly as possible.

That’s good news — it would be terrible if all those closeted swimmers and equestrians and gymnasts didn’t get to score a little cardio before the opening ceremonies. Of course, people like Matthew Mitcham probably don’t have to worry about it; he’s out, so he’ll just go to a gay bar.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Grindr on the hunt for models — no, really

Scott Barretto of local firm Straight Out Media just posted that hook-up app Grindr is on the hunt for models for upcoming marketing campaigns. So what better place to look than its own clients? And he says you could even earn some scratch from it. From Barretto via Facebook:

Looking for guys that would like to submit their profile shots as “models” in Grindr marketing / advertising. Especially interested in Latinos, Asians and African Americans. It pays a small fee. Shoot me a email if you would like to submit your pic.

Barretto clarified that Grindr isn’t just looking for those demographics, so you white guys are still eligible. Just contact Barretto with your pic and you could be one of the next faces of Grindr. Which is a lot better than being on of these guys.

—  Rich Lopez

“Gayby” screens Tuesday and Wednesday at DIFF

There’s not too much gay programming at the Dallas International Film Festival, but what is featured is pretty darn gay. Case in point: Gayby, which screens tonight and tomorrow at the Angelika.

Matt (adorkable Matthew Wilkas) and Jenn (Jenn Harris) are a Will-&-Grace-like couple — straight girl, gay guy — who each want something more in life: She wants a baby (but, as a friend notes, is barren), he wants a relationship more meaningful than a Grindr hookup. It’s not three minutes in before the two decide to have a baby together — not with a turkey baster, but old-fashioned sex.

That’s the premise for the short film on which this feature is based (and which played in Dallas at OutTakes a few years back); it basically ended with them getting it on. Here, it’s more a jumping-off point for the witty, dry humor of writer-director Jonathan Lisecki.

The film screening at the Angelika April 17 at 7:15 p.m., and April 18 at 1 0 p.m. Check it out.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Is Rick Perry on Grindr? No, not really

An observant Grindr enthusiast (I’m sure he only reads it for the articles) near the capitol in Austin noticed a familiar face on Grindr and shared this pics with Houstini:

Being the red-blooded Texas male that he is our friend, of course, chatted up the most powerful man in the state:

I salute the anonymous satirist who’s perpetrating what I can only assume is performance art. It takes a lot of ingenuity to turn the worlds most powerful hook-up tool towards political commentary. One thought though: considering that the governor drives a Mercedes-Benz, are you sure you picked the most apropos name?

—  admin

Photographer Blake Little talks more about his (very hot) photo book, ‘The Company of Men’

Tonight at Nuvo, photographer Blake Little will sign copies of his pictorial The Company of Men. The book includes photos of everyday men who you wish would show up on your Grindr and Scruff apps. Little talked to us a little more about how the book came to be, which we first wrote about here.

Interview with Little — and some more pictures — after the jump.

—  Rich Lopez

Grindr pays respects to Steve Jobs

No doubt you’ve been either part of the public grieving process for Apple founder Steve Jobs, or have suffered through it. In our little way, we’re going to add to that. Of course, we appreciate that Jobs’ innovation allows us to do our jobs here at Dallas Voice, but why would you want to hear from us when you can hear from Grindr?

The app for locating a nearby potential hookup and the iPhone were a match made in heaven for gay men and led to similar apps like Scruff, Growlr and ReCon.

Grindr just posted the following statement from founder Joel Simkhai:

—  Rich Lopez

In other R.E.M. news, see Michael Stipe naked

Thanks to Stereogum for pointing this out Wednesday, but coming off the heels of R.E.M.’s big announcement, we were also privy to singer Michael Stipe’s semi-big statement of his own. In a Tumblr post from earlier this summer (how are we so late to this?), Stipe reveals all in a series of photos mashed together as he dresses, undresses, whatever. Thankfully, Fleshbot took it upon themselves to slow the vid down to post the money shots of Stipe as he was in his full monty. And by the way, that link is SO NSFW.

But here’s a slight preview sans Stipe’s monster. Heck, this pic alone is ready for Grindr and Scruff.

—  Rich Lopez

Gay Day at Six Flags today

Cruising the amusement park

Is it un-PC to say “scream like a girl?” Because you will as the Mr. Freeze ride drops you faster than your last Grindr hookup. The DV presents Gay Day at Six Flags for Pride weekend.

DEETS: Six Flags Over Texas, 2201 Road To Six Flags. Park opens at 10 a.m. $25 pre-order. $57 door. AltURL.com/ogddb

—  Rich Lopez