Straight men with small dicks will have to shop at Kroger

big_gun_small_dick_flaskStarting Jan. 1 the new open carry law goes into effect. Prove how masculine you are by carrying a gun. Prove what a small dick you have by carrying a big, big gun.

Businesses have the right to opt out, but must post a sign telling customers their big guns aren’t welcome.

Tom Thumb, Whole Foods, HEB — which owns Central Market — and Sprouts have opted out. No guns in their markets.

Kroger said it follows state laws. By that it means it won’t follow Texas law that allows a business to opt out. It will allow straight men with small dicks to carry their big guns into their stores.

Aldi did not answer, but allows concealed guns in their stores. Fiesta hasn’t announced its policy yet.

Going out for an evening of entertainment? AMC and Cinemark theaters both will ban guns.

Go to CVS with your gun. Walgreens without.

Gun-free restaurant chains include Panera Bread, Chili’s, Hooters, Jack in the Box, TGI Fridays, Buffalo Wild Wings, California Pizza Kitchen and Waffle House.

Nasher Sculpture Garden bans guns but Nasher-owned NorthPark didn’t respond when the Dallas Morning News inquired about its policy.

This list is certainly not complete and most of the stores listed above come from a “Second Amendment rights” website, and is certainly subject to change. Check for a sign on the front door of the business to see if guns are banned from the property. If there’s no sign, open carry is welcome at that business.

—  David Taffet

Texas’ best museum just got twice as good with new Piano Pavilion


Renzo Piano, right, discussing his roof lighting system in the new Piano Pavilion at the Kimbell Art Museum

Architect Renzo Piano called today’s completion of the new building that’s named after him at the Kimbell Art Museum, “a very beautiful moment when you finish the job.”

Piano, who also designed the museum building at the Nasher Sculpture Center, spoke at a press preview this morning. The new building, housing much of the museum’s permanent collection, opens to the public on Nov. 27.

Works that have been off display for years because of lack of space are back on view. Four large canvasses by Boucher that have never been hung side by side in Fort Worth because of space limitations are on view as never before.

All of the African collection is on exhibit, along with most of the museum’s Asian pieces. Works by Picasso, Cezanne, Monet, Mondrian and Pissarro, along with a selfie by Gauguin and a Van Gogh from a local private collection fill the north gallery in the original Khan building. One of my favorite paintings in the collection, “On the Pont de l’Europe” by Caillebotte is back on exhibit.

The two buildings work well together. Just deciding the exact distance apart they would stand took months of calculation, Piano said.

As with the Nasher, the roof is an engineering masterpiece. Unlike the Nasher, Fort Worth respects its art and will not allow a reflective glass tower to destroy the city’s newest treasure. Yes, that detail was discussed with the city. If I were giving advice to the Nasher, I’d tell them they should be negotiating a move to Fort Worth unless Dallas fixes its Death Ray Tower problem soon.

The new Piano building doubles the museum’s library stacks, adds classroom space for school groups and includes a 300-seat auditorium with a light trench that pays homage to the underground lighting system in the Khan building. Even the new underground parking is a work of art.

Poured concrete, glass and wooden beams are the building’s only components. Special construction-grade glass allows uninterrupted views by steel supports. That and hundreds of other details won’t be noticed by most people who visit. Anyone who enters the new Piano building will feel the magnificent exhibit space in the tranquilly beautiful building that enhance each of the works of art.


—  David Taffet

Best bets • 12.09.11

Friday 12.09

A wicked signature
If you missed out on Kristen Chenoweth’s appearance at the Nasher, you get another up close and personal one when she signs copies of her newest CD, Some Lessons Learned. But get there early. You have to get a wristband to get in line to see the Wicked and Glee star. But she’s so likeable, it’ll be worth the trouble.

DEETS: Barnes & Noble at Stonebriar, 2601 Preston Road, Frisco. 6:30 p.m. 972-668-2820.


Friday 12.09

For the girls
Deb Hunseder and Steph Callahan are kind of a big deal. As acoustic rockers Halcyon, they’ve opened for big time names such as Joan Osborne, John Mayer and Wynonna Judd. But they headline this weekend. The Florida-based band comes to Dallas with their harmonies intact and a taste of their queer indie rock.

DEETS: With Bad Habits. Sue Ellen’s, 3014 Throckmorton St. 9 p.m.


Saturday 12.10

Forget the stripes, go ‘Plaid’
Although Forever Plaid is filled with comedy, music and dancing, it’s rather dark because the fictional band The Plaids die — in a car crash — before their first concert! But don’t let that take away from the fun. Seriously, it’s a good time.

DEETS: Flower Mound Performing Arts, 100 N. Charles St., Lewisville. Through Dec. 23. $25.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition December 9, 2011.

—  Michael Stephens