Having fun with the Olympics

Sweden’s decathlete Bjorn Barrefors gives new meaning to the term “Swedish meatballs.”

Last night, my good friend and fellow critic Elaine Liner at the Dallas Observer engaged in a Facebook exchange where we came up with a tongue-in-cheek list of rejected Olympic sports. Here’s what we came up with; what can you think of?

• Undressage

• Bicuriousathlon

• Javelina throw (Arkansas only)

• Oprah lifting

• Greco-Roman bailout

• Bobby tossing

• Goodminton

• Pumice horse

• Uneven parallel lives

• Quintuples tennis

• Individual vegetable medley

• Skeet Ulrich shooting

• 1000 meter staring

• 4000 meter relapse with Dr. Drew

• Mammary development (women’s gymnastic only)

• 10 meter platform driving

• Pallbearing

• Synchronized screaming

• Bitch volleyball

• Wanking (singles and pairs)

• Sudoku

• Tramp stamping

• Speedtalking

• Tumblring

• Discus-s

• 1000 meter race-baiting

• Deathlon

• Frottage

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Class in session

Ru & crew, back for ‘Drag U,’ Season 2

RuPaulThere’s a difference between a TV show that is intentionally cheesy and one that induces cringes by mistake. Thankfully, RuPaul’s Drag U knows exactly what it’s doing, laying the puns on thicker than Jujubee’s makeup. They can still induce groans, but at least we’re all in on the joke.

After all, Drag U is all about the fun side of our favorite competitive drag queens. Leaving (most of) the drama over at the Drag Race, each week queen “professors” (including Season 1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet, pictured) are tasked with making over three ordinary women and unleashing their inner divas, complete with drag personas and styling. On the line are sorta-fabulous prizes like jewelry, a vacation and a cash prize of $3,166.17 (seriously).

But it’s what the women gain in self-esteem that’s the most valuable parting gift, and don’t think the producers don’t know it. In the first episode alone, one of the women is trying to overcome the pain of having her ex-husband end their marriage via email; she, of course, learns “to love herself again” with the inducement of wigs and outrageous makeup. That’s some powerful Oprah-level stuff, but Ru, “Dean of Drag” Lady Bunny, guest judges like Beverly Johnson and the rest of the girls give advice that’s equal parts sassy and sincere.

The result? Incredible transformations at the end of an hour of deliciously fluffy television — and every one of these straight gals owes it to the gays. For anyone in withdrawals since Drag Race ended, or in love with makeovers, or just interested in learning more about one contestant’s husband’s “diesel mangina,” the second season of Drag U is more than deserving of a season pass on your DVR.

— Steven Lindsey

Premieres Monday at 8 p.m. on Logo

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 17, 2011.

—  Michael Stephens