Starvoice • 01.20.12

edBy Jack Fertig

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY

Ellen DeGeneres turns 54 on Thursday. The comedian/talk show host has won 13 Emmys during her career while parylaying successful endeavors as a spokersperson for Cover Girl and voicing the role of Dory in Finding Nemo, set for a 3D release this fall. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton also named her Special Envoy for Global AIDS Awareness in November 2011.

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THIS WEEK

Mars is turning retrograde and will backtrack through Virgo until April 13. In this period, recent pet peeves, critical arguments, bitchy outbursts and intestinal inflammations will come back to haunt you. Keep an eye on self-improvement without beating yourself up.

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CAPRICORN  Dec 21-Jan 19
Old arguments highlight your need to reconsider ideals you’ve taken for granted. Be careful that shrewd insight doesn’t push you to disillusion friends. You can be realistic and respectful.

AQUARIUS  Jan 20-Feb 18
Your debonair wit could easily backfire. The line between incisive epigrams and rude bitchiness is too easy to stumble over. If you need to be naughty, find an appropriate partner and a room.

PISCES  Feb 19-Mar 19
It’s very easy to talk your way into a hot little affair, but you may soon find it harder to get out of. Be sure of where the exits are before you step into anything.

ARIES  Mar 20-Apr 19
You’re cranky, even aggressive, especially with colleagues. Obsessing over details can distract you from bigger issues and dangers. But do heed details that concern your health.

TAURUS  Apr 20-May 20
Being nice comes off as manipulative. Use your overactive charms to deal with problems in a straightforward fashion. Resist the urge to gloss over them. Flirtations lead further than intended.

GEMINI  May 21-Jun 20
Disagreements at home get out of hand, especially when you just settled the problem. Be as patient and diplomatic as you can. Your attention soon turns to more interesting problems.

CANCER  Jun 21-Jul 22
A new passionate fling probably seems a lot more serious than it really is. Or less. Either way it’s sure to surprise you and probably a lot more people than you’d like to have know about it.

LEO  Jul 23-Aug 22
It’s too easy to react to others. Your natural instinct is to be a control queen, but more productively, try to see why your nerves are so raw. Vigorous exercise will help your balance and insight.

VIRGO  Aug 23-Sep 22
A cautious approach to a problem will open to more possibilities. Take that inspiration to work to find ideas pointing to new methods. With a solid grounding, advance bold new techniques.

LIBRA  Sep 23-Oct 22
Hitting a plateau is a natural stage. Don’t let it discourage you. Keep at whatever you’re doing, although if you can figure out why you’re stuck you may find better ways of doing it.

SCORPIO  Oct 23-Nov 21
Frustration has more to do with your expectations. Brace yourself for problems to come back at you. Mouth off to friends who’ll help you develop a better perspective.

SAGITTARIUS  Nov 22-Dec 20
Talk with relatives about family health issues to get rude surprises to prepare your doctor than the other way around. Brush up on skills and get updated on technology that will help you at work.

Jack Fertig can be reached at 415-864-8302 or Starjack.com

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 20, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

Starvoice • 08.05.11

By Jack Fertig

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY

Michael Urie turns 30 on Monday. The actor became a hallmark queer TV character as Mark St. James in Ugly Betty. The Plano High School and Julliard grad has kept up his theater roots. He received the Lucille Lortel Award for lead actor as Mattachine Society founder Rudi Gernreich in The Temperamentals.

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THIS WEEK

The sun makes hard aspects to Uranus and Pluto, bringing ego and power-struggles to a dangerous head; but Sol moves quickly into a grand trine with Eris and the North Node, offering routes to reconciliation.

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LEO Jul 23-Aug 22
A few well-chosen words stimulate discussions you’ll learn a lot from. Opening up to challenging new ideas can dramatically change the ways you work and play.

VIRGO Aug 23-Sep 22
Creative angst is a good thing. You are trying too hard for something entirely new and different. Go back to your roots and see what neglected treasures inspire you to innovation.

LIBRA Sep 23-Oct 22
Friendly advice about your home and relationship is malicious japery, but is there anything in it? Whatever the source, dissect it for seeds of truth and opportunities for self-improvement.

SCORPIO Oct 23-Nov 21
Speaking out of turn at work ruffles feathers. Open up new ideas. Irritating (or irritated) as your boss may be, keep calm, respectful and focused on your company’s success.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 22-Dec 20
Your impulses for adventure tests your rresourcefulness. You’re clever enough to do what’s necessary more economically than it first appears. Trust your instincts and go it alone if you have to.

CAPRICORN Dec 21-Jan 19
If parental voices chime in at the worst times, relax. Take time to meditate and listen to those voices, if only to get where they’re coming from, to talk back and dismiss them.

AQUARIUS Jan 20-Feb 18
It’s no news that your mouth makes trouble. Just keep your brain ahead of it and do not reveal your partner’s secrets. Thinking ahead is what you do best. Apply that foresight in the present.

PISCES Feb 19-Mar 19
Worries about health and money are exaggerated. The future looks tough for everyone, but don’t let your imagination make it worse. You can still thrive. Hard work is the answer, but don’t burn out. Set a goal and do your best.

ARIES Mar 20-Apr 19
What you think is brilliant and clever is threatening to authorities. Think ahead: What battles can you win? Who are your real friends? What do you need to learn to succeed?

TAURUS Apr 20-May 20
Fights at home are displaced frustration. Be careful not to say something you’ll regret later. Whether to head off the fight or to heal the wounds, open up to your partner about your anxieties.

GEMINI May 21-Jun 20
Dare to be shocking and bold, but don’t be surprised if you scare off friends. Are you stronger with fewer friends who agree with you or more friends with more diverse thoughts?

CANCER Jun 21-Jul 22
Feeling underappreciated is more about you misunderstanding what your virtues really are. Job reviews and criticism from your partner hurt, but take them as cues to clarify your strengths.

Jack Fertig can be reached at 415-864-8302 or Starjack.com

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 5, 2011.

—  Kevin Thomas